It's a horrible feeling. Leaving all your friends, and your family to permanently live someplace you've only visited a handfull of times. It's just like that quote in Garden State:
"You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, its like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. a group of people who miss the same imaginary place."
I definately miss everything about Michigan. The night before I left I didn't sleep. I cried so hard for so long. I felt so bad about leaving everyone, and making so many people sad. I must think about my friends from home a million times a day. I still refer to Kendra, Emily and Amy as my roomates. Sometimes I think it hasn't clicked yet, and all it takes is walking into an empty apartment to really feel alone.
Don't get me wrong, I spend plenty of time with Adam, and everything with us has been perfect, but he can't possibly take the place of everyone. Even when I am with him, my mind wanders and I think about everyone and get so sad. It's like I know if I had found a job in MI I would be going through the same thing with him, and because he's such a huge part of my life, I don't regret moving out here. I have a great job, a nice apartment, and an amazing boyfriend, but I have no freinds out here. I am beginning to become a lot closer to some of the guys at the shore house, but it's not like I hang out with them any other time.
Enough about that... Anyways, I've been here almost a month. Like I said my apartment is pretty cool. It's not as small as I had imagined, and it's perfect for me. I live only 20 minutes outside New York City, so once the summer is over and we no longer have the shore house, I'm sure Adam and I will be taking a million trips into the city. There are so many shows I want to see, and I would love to get tickets to SNL again. I have a lot to look forward too and for the more part I am doing fine. I miss the kids at the preschool though. Those babies made me so happy, and I can't wait to see how they've grown the Fall.
The shore house was the greatest idea Adam has ever had. We have so much fun there. It's like Spring Break every weekend, and I'm fortunate enough to live with the greatest guys. They are always taking care of me and looking out for me. They're just an amazing group! I've made it down there the past 3 weekends, and because I'm going home this weekend it will be the first weekend I haven't gone down. I'm the youngest one in the house, and feel embarassed at how everyone else seems to party harder, drink faster, and stay up later than me. I thought that Michigan State made me a party animal, but apparently not as much as I thought.
Ok, well now that I've done my babbling for the night, I'm going to get to bed. Goodnight all!
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